No two days are the same. I was all positive and glowing last week but yesterday I cracked. I cried. The boys were getting to me and all I wanted to do was think. I’ve been doing a lot of that recently. Thinking about people trying to insinuate themselves into my life, strangers coming forward to help me – M is becoming my saving grace, friends who genuinely care about my wellbeing.
This morning the sun was up..that great ball of fire we tend to adore after a long winter. Got a great done at the bank with Xerxes. Xavier continued to sleep in…spoilt myself with a bit of shopping thanks to a birthday voucher from my dear heart Barbara.
The trip to the shop was healing until I was midway home. With my mind in overdrive about issues of life I veered into the wrong lane…blonde haired, Macho Man honked and used his hands to communicate with me…DUMB FUCK…I am an abled-bodied person and do not need sign language to get by!!!
How I hate being a lone woman…why did he have to leave me to fend for myself and the boys? It’s tough enough driving a great distance to work and back, then driving some more to fetch the boys from madressa or creche. I hate driving but do I have a choice? I hate being a single parent…I HATE BEING AN ONLY PARENT!!!
Think I should stop moaning now because nobody’s listening. But seriously..I need my space. I haven’t had any since Mikhail passed from this life.
A dear friend came by to take my sons to Mikhail’s grave….it’s been almost 2 months since their last visit. I have no idea what goes on when they visit the cemetery…they refused to talk to me about it. It’s like their “own time” with Dad.
It’s Saturday..the weather is gorgeous. Xerxes is roaming the town with a friend (and his mum)…yeah 5-year-old kiddos are doing it for themselves these days. Xavier is chilling with me.
Looking forward to a better tomorrow.
embracingthechanges 
Leave a comment